rap Olympiad

It’s the calm before the crash right here

Wait, how was I gonna get this off?

I forgot— what equations doh, yeah

That’s an awfully hot market froth

Should I blame it on Donald Trump? Think not

But that’s all I got ’til the Dow pisses off

Got a broker and now I gotta short it

Like a beta fund with some margin

Imma walk inside the exchange on Monday

And say a prayer that every time Jim Cramer talks

He gets a mou— Ahh, Imma stop

But we better give Bernanke and Yellen some props

‘Cause who knows, sh-t’s happenin’ when this melt-up stops

That’ll probably cause a flash crash

And while the global circuits pop

And I wait for sh-t to quiet down, counting riches until the ticker blood-baths stop

Euphorias heightened, stocks are risin’

Trump, when it comes to giving a dollar, you’re stingy as I am

Except when it comes to having the IQ to go against me, you hide ’em

‘Cause you don’t like to run through our Treasury account

Greed’s the only thing he’s fantastic for

‘Cause that’s how he gets to be so yuge.  And he loves debt

Yeah, like leverage

That’s why he wants us to work

‘Cause he cannot stand a homeless shirk

Infact I’m not afraid of those technology stocks

FANG walkin’ on egg shells, I came to shout

If prices drop and people screamin’ ‘we need bailout’

‘Cause you bought too high!

It’s like you took a step upwards, then doubled up even more

But this low volatility is a distraction

Plus, I need to feed off a reaction

When he attacks a company CEO we focus on that

Instead the valuation just keep rising despite any spat

All these horrible bitcoins and expired put options

Cause a Twitter storm can’t cause crisis

Then says he wants to lower our taxes

Then who’s gonna pay when interest and the credit spread rises

Back and forth with the central banks, who rises fastest?

Same sh-t each day the market up ½ a percent

Then does it more

Each day since he’s been President

No 5% correction

Despite Bannon feeling his erection

And North Korea’s ICBM

Still can’t land a rocket past Japan

Fork and a dagger in this 94-year-old market

Who keeps ignoring our past speculative bubbles

Now if you’re a black swan connoisseur, you’re a spoiled little brat for

Tryna use your knowledge or power

To try to give a warning to those who soon cower

F-ck that! This is for hedgefunds, ball up a fist!

And keep that sh-t balled like Maddoff the b-tch!

And any fan of mine who’s a supporter of this topped-off market

I’m drawing in the sand a line: you’re either for or against

And if you can’t decide who you like more and you’re split

On who you should stand beside, I’ll do it for you with this:

Wait, how was this sh-t supposed to end?


As a reminder, being among our 150 thousand Statistical Ideas followers is easy to do, through e-mail, @salilstatistics, facebook, LinkedIn.